The Ice Is Getting Thinner
by Lilyroses
Summary: So maybe she was running. Maybe she wasn't really ready for any of this. All she knew for sure was that she couldn't stay in that small town watching the love of her life with the love of his any longer.
1. To Build A Home

**A/N: **Hi! I've been working on this story for over a year now...Well not exactly working, but it's been in existence and I've been putting off publishing, but I decided to go for it. This is my very first story and I'm very nervous about it, so please review and let me know what you think even if it's that I should stop while I'm ahead. Don't be afraid to be brutally honest.

Everything up until 321 happened basically the same, expect the conversation between LP in 317 went a little differently and things have been awkward between them since. I'll get to it in a flashback. The story starts with Jeyton and stays there a while, but bear with me I'll get to Leyton.

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Chapter 1: To Build A Home

"Do you wanna get married?"

For Peyton the last couple of days felt like a blur. A crazy love filled blur in which she had somehow managed to end up engaged. As she stared at the man lying beside her and the baby girl in her arms she wondered how she had ever gotten so lucky as to find the family that she'd always wanted. How after so many years of being alone, she was now facing the prospect of never having to be alone again.

She knew it was crazy. She was only seventeen and the last thing she should be thinking about was getting married or starting a family. Most seventeen year olds weren't even near ready to seriously contemplate those things. Yet here she was lying next to her slumbering finance, holding the beautiful baby girl that could one day soon be hers, happier than she'd felt in way to long. She wouldn't take it back for anything.

"You watching me sleep?" her finance asked a smirk on his lips.

"So what if I am?"

"Nothing, it's just a little creepy."

"Shut up!" she yelled while hitting him over the head with her pillow and laughing at shocked expression on his face.

A tiny peal of laughter reminded them both of the beautiful girl that was between them and Jake scooped her up tickling her as she laughed wildly.

"You think that's funny Jen, huh?"

"Wow torturing a two year old? Very mature Jagielski."

"Your right maybe I should pick on someone my own size," he said with a devilish grin.

"NO!" Peyton yelled jumping out of bed and running out of the room with Jake hot on her heels.

Her life lately had been so filled with drama and tears. Finding out she was adopted and then losing the only mother she had left. Getting shot and almost losing her life. Realizing again that she was in love with her best friend's boy. It was all too much and she felt as though deserved something as uncomplicated and joy filled as her relationship with Jake. She deserved to be happy without having to break anyone else's heart. She knew that he could be enough. That if she could wake up to this every morning for the rest of her life that she'd be happy. Who needed Lucas Scott? She tried her best to forget that she did and it was getting easier and easier each day.

She squirmed madly as he caught hold of her, but it was in vain and with a cry of "uncle" they collapsed upon the sofa breathing heavily.

"I don't want to have to leave today. I wish we could just stay right here forever, all three of us," Peyton whispered into Jake's chest once they'd both managed to catch their breath.

"I wish that too," he whispered gently stroking her hair. "But the sooner you go the sooner you'll be back, so we better get ready before you miss your flight."

"Five more minutes?" she asked with a pout.

Unable to deny her while she was making that face, he laughed and said "Okay, okay five more minutes."

Truth be told, he wished that he could keep her here with him and prevent her from ever going back to that place. He worried about the man there that a small part of him still thought held a piece of her heart, no matter what she said to the contrary.

_Flashback_

"_You told Lucas that you loved him?"_

_Jake couldn't believe this was happening. Just hours before he had felt like the happiest man in the world and suddenly he was faced with the reality that it had all been a lie. As he watched the woman he loved struggle to find the words to explain herself he felt like the world's biggest dumb ass._

"_It was the school shooting! Okay? And I was bleeding and I thought I was going to die. I didn't mean it like that," she yelled desperately trying to hold onto the happiness that she had found a few hours ago. "Jake…I love you."_

"_I know that you do."_

"_Then why are you making such a big deal about this."_

"_When you decided that you weren't going to go back to Tree Hill, do you remember what you told me?"_

"_Yeah," she whispered quietly trying to figure out why he was bringing this up._

"_You said that your father's not around, that Haley had Nathan, and that Brooke has Lucas."_

"_Okay you know what? Haley and Brooke are my best friends and they spend a lot of time with their boyfriends. That's all I meant by that."_

_He nodded terrified by what he was about to say, but knew that he had to. "Let me ask you a question. What if Brooke didn't have Lucas?"_

_Truthfully she knew that if Brooke didn't have Lucas she (Peyton) would. They'd both been frightened by their feelings and entered relationships with other people since their brief romance last year, but what she'd realized as she sat bleeding to death on the library floor was that she had always loved him and it wasn't going away no matter how hard she tried to force it to. It was a shame then that he was "completely in love with Brooke Davis" as he had so eloquently put it. So it didn't matter how she felt or how things would be if Brooke didn't have Lucas because she did and Peyton needed THIS man to believe in her love for him so that she could have someone she loved, just like everyone else._

_And it was with those thoughts swimming through her head that she said "I would be here, with you Jake. I love you so much and it hurts me that you can't see how deep that love runs. I have been so lost without you. And yes Lucas has been there for me and I do love him, but it's not in the same way. I asked you to marry me Jake because when I close my eyes and dream of my life you're the man I picture it with."_

_He looked into her eyes and saw the love he felt reflected there and wondered why he was being so insecure. He loved her and she loved him and any and everyone else in their past was unimportant. Or at least that was what he tried to convince himself._

"_Peyton…"_

"_Jake, I love you. Please don't do this," she begged tears silently pouring down her cheeks. And that was the truth no matter how false the rest of what she had said was. She loved this boy and maybe it wasn't in all the ways he wanted to know she loved him, but it was there and it was real and she was clinging to it for dear life._

_He pulled her gently closer to him and whispered "I know. I love you too."_

_Flashback end_

"I love you Jake Jagielski, you know that?"

"I love you to Peyton Sawyer soon to be Jagielski."

She smiled and rolled over so that she was looking him in the eye. "We're going to have to discuss that. I'm not sure I want a last name that looks like a disease."

"Ouch that hurts Sawyer," he said clutching at his heart before reaching for her sides and continuing his attack.

--------

"Maybe I don't have to go. I mean Nathan and Haley are already married. What am I really missing? I'm a bridesmaid. I walk down the aisle looking pretty-"

"Looking gorgeous," Jake said gruffly as he pulled her closer to him.

Peyton blushed and he rolled his eyes "When are you going to learn how to take a compliment?"

"Fine gorgeous, but my point is I'll practically just be eye candy. You haven't even meet Nathan's uncle I mean he's really hot and you know what they say about bridesmaids and groomsmen," she said looking at him plaintively.

"No what do they say."

"That…that 65% of them end up dating," she stuttered caught off guard.

"You just made that up didn't you?"

"Okay maybe I did, but I really don't want to leave."

They had finally made it to the airport and Peyton was about 10 minutes of lingering away from missing her flight. She was really just trying to lolly gag long enough to have an excuse to stay away from Tree Hill. She was scared of that place and the feelings that she had there. They were easier to bury when she was hundreds of miles away. She didn't trust her heart not to betray her.

"Babe, it'll be fine. You'll go have a blast and come back. I'm kind of sad that I won't get to be there with you, but you know I can't just leave the state. So go have fun with your friends and then come back to me. Okay? I love you," he said kissing her gently.

Peyton let out a sigh. She knew that she would have fun. To be honest she was already missing Brooke and a few of the others. Namely the blond haired blue-eyed man of her dreams. So she wasn't worried about not having any fun. What worried her was whether or not she'd be able to leave once she got there.

"Okay. Fine I love you too. And you my amazing little girl," she sighed kissing both of them gently and then turned to return to the one place that she sincerely wished she never had to go again.

**A/N: **So that was really short...I think the chapters are going to be longer from now on. This was really just a Prologue of sorts. Anyway, review please! I really want to know what you think. Oh and in case you didn't notice most of the dialogue from the flashback is not mine. I don't own that sadly.


	2. Let The Flames Begin

**A/N: **Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who reviewed! I changed my mind about the length. I'm going to go with shorter chapters so I can update quicker. I really appreciated the reviews so yeah thank you and here's the second chapter. Hope you like it.

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Chapter 2: Let The Flames Begin

As Peyton stepped outside of the airport in Tree Hill she felt as if she had been gone for years, not days. Something in her had shifted while she was away. She knew that beneath the new life she had built for herself was a longing for this place and the people in it, but she had so far managed to close Tree Hill off in her heart. All that she needed to do was get through Nathan and Haley's wedding and Brooke's birthday and she could escape and continue down the road she had chosen.

She was not at all as convinced as she wanted to be that the next couple of days would be easy. But she steeled herself as she walked out of the airport and into her hometown, hoping that it was her resolve she felt strengthen and not her doubts.

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"Tutor wife could you please hurry up in there or else your going to be late to your own second wedding!"

Brooke Davis was not in a good mood. She usually loved weddings, but with the bride moving at a snail's pace, her best friend M.I.A., and her boyfriend becoming increasingly distant, she was seconds away from completely melting down. Not to mention the fact that she was late. Again.

"Brooke I'm moving as fast as I can okay? Give me a break I'm not feeling that great."

Haley had been looking forward to this day. She was thrilled that she and Nathan had managed to get past all of their mistakes and come out as a stronger couple. And today was all about celebrating that renewed relationship and having the wedding she had always dreamed of. But when she'd woken up that morning and immediately emptied the entire contents of her stomach into a toilet bowl she realized that the day might not go exactly as she planned.

"Well if you don't move your ass and get down that aisle you're not going to be looking that great either," Brooke snapped as she hastily applied her makeup.

"Who knew weddings could be so much fun?"

"Shut up Rachel," yelled both Haley and Brooke.

Haley had no idea what had possessed Brooke to invite Rachel to the wedding or why she was at the back of the church getting ready with them. Last she knew Rachel Gattina was Brooke Davis' public enemy number one and she wished that it had stayed that way because Rachel was making herself a royal pain in the ass. The only explanation Brooke had given was that Rachel was going through some "stuff" and needed some "friends."

"Brooke, where's Peyton?" asked the bride-to-be after a glance around the room reveal that her second bridesmaid had yet to arrive.

"I don't know Haley, I've been trying to call her all day, but she's not answering her phone. I swear I'll snap her bony ass in two if she doesn't get here in the next ten minutes."

"Wow Brooke it's a good thing I'm here now then it would be a real inconvenience to have to go through life snapped in half," Peyton said as she finally entered the room with her kinked eyebrow and teasing smile in place.

Haley ran over to her and gave her a huge hug whispering loudly. "Oh thank god you're here Peyton! Brooke has lost her mind."

Brooke rolled her eyes at the petite girl's antics and eyed her best friend. "It's a good thing you're finally here I was this close to grabbing some Crisco and trying to slide Rachel's fat ass into your dress."

"Bitch," the red-head muttered throwing daggers with her eyes at her newfound "friend."

"Slut," Brooke bit back.

"Whoa, I could cut the tension in this room with I knife. I hope you guys aren't this catty at my wedding," Peyton said slyly gazing around the room.

Brooke furrowed her brows. "Well we'll have to see. How about we get you a man first? Weddings are always the best place to pick up hot guys, I'd say you should try for Hot Uncle Cooper, but apparently he's had his full of high school girls."

Rachel gasped as though she'd been smacked and Brooke shot her an apologetic look wondering and worrying briefly why she was being such a bitch today.

"Alright then…" Peyton muttered with curious glance at the two of them. "Anyway, I've already got my guy," as she caught Brooke's confused expression she suddenly felt giddy about her news. She knew how excited everyone would get, especially Brooke, and though she didn't want to take the spotlight off Haley she could hardly contain herself. "Jake and I got engaged this weekend!"

The three girls stood in shocked silence as they stared open-mouthed at Peyton, all torn between shock, confusion, and incredulity. Rachel was the first to speak.

"Are you serious? What the hell is up with you people? You are aware that in most places people don't go around getting married at seventeen, right? Most sane people wait until they're older? What? Is it something in the water here? Tell me because then I definitely need to stop drinking it."

Peyton rolled her eyes at Rachel and looked toward her best friend awaiting a reaction. Brooke could hardly find words as she just gawked at her. She stood stock still even as Haley ran over to the girl and enveloped her once again into a huge hug with a cry of congratulations.

Brooke was shocked to say the least but there was something else inside her that she couldn't quite explain. Something a little like fear. She felt as though some colossal weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but at the same time she was at lost as to what she would do now that it was gone.

"Brooke?" Peyton whispered as she looked over at the statue that had formerly been her best friend. She had expected Brooke to squeal and run over to her and mow her down shouting about how happy she was for her and go on about how she had to start planning absolutely everything. To be honest she was a little afraid of the silence that seemed to distance her from the girl she had known all her life. And as the seconds ticked past she grew angry at Brooke's lack of enthusiasm for her life changing news.

Brooke cleared her throat and tried twice before she let out a muted "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Peyton muttered a little ticked off at her friend's lackluster response.

Haley was looking at both Peyton and Brooke wondering what in the world could possibly be going on between them when her own best friend walked in.

As Lucas entered the room the first thing he was aware of was the frost that permeated it. He looked over at Brooke and then Rachel wondering what they had managed to fight about on this day, but noticed that Brooke was staring at Peyton.

"Is everything okay?" He asked eyes on the blonde who seemed to withdraw from his gaze. Things between them had been fragile at best lately and he hated the way she seemed to shrink when he looked at her. Though he supposed that it was own doing.

"Fine," Brooke lied through her teeth to her boyfriend who only looked away from Peyton upon hearing her voice.

"Great . Well you guys should hurry. Almost everyone is seated, so Rachel you better get out of here."

"Gladly," she whispered almost as if she were afraid to upset the fragile balance of the scene unraveling before her.

As he watched the normally brazen red-head slink quietly out of the room, he decided he would probably be safer if he exited as well. "Um yeah. So I'll see you guys in a bit." And with one last looking at Peyton who was pointedly avoiding his gaze, being the smart boy he was, Lucas Scott left the room as quickly as he could.

Peyton's heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She hadn't expected to see him so soon or so suddenly and though he was gone she could feel his presence in the racing in her chest. It made her wonder if she had been naïve to hope that she could get through the next couple of days with her sanity.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, she turned to her best friend who suddenly had tears in her eyes. "Brooke what's wrong?"

Brooke quickly regained her composure and gently murmured, "Nothing, nothing at all. I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise." She walked over to Peyton and pulled her into a tight hug. "Engaged that's great. Amazing. Really. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations! Hey maybe you can wear the first dress I made for Haley!" the brunette said as she clapped her hands together excitedly.

Peyton looked over at Haley who shook her head and laugh as Brooke scowled at her.

And it was easy as she laughed along to pretend that she didn't care why Brooke had reacted so badly and that Lucas hadn't sent her world spinning on its axis just by looking at her.

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"What's going on Hales?" Lucas whispered as he stood waiting to walk his best friend down the aisle.

Haley glanced at him unsurely not certain she should be the one to tell him and not entirely sure about what was going on either. So she decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"With Peyton," he said with a glance toward the blond who was standing in front of his girlfriend. "And Brooke," he added as an afterthought shifting his gaze to the brunette standing right in front of him.

"Nothing," she muttered averting her gazing and instead choosing to stare at the back of Brooke's head.

"Oh come on Haley, don't give me that. I felt like I was going to get frostbite it was that chilly in that room."

"Luke look I'm tired of all this damn drama! Why can't any of you just stop this already? It is my damn wedding day and I refuse to spend it dissecting Peyton and Brooke's complicated friendship with you, so spare me please!" Haley hissed not quite sure where her outburst had come from and already feeling ashamed about it.

As she took in her best friend's shocked expression she almost burst into tears. "Oh Luke, I'm so sorry. I-"

She was cut off as usher alerted the two that it was time for them to walk and suddenly all thoughts of her friends and their drama flew out the window as she rounded the corner and caught sight of the love of her life.

--------

She looked astonishingly beautiful standing up there at the alter and as he walked closer to her, escorting his best friend down the aisle, he thought about the day it might be the two of them professing their love for each other in front of all their friends and family. It would be perfect, they would be perfect, she would be perfect. The only problem was she wasn't his girlfriend. The brunette standing next to her was and it was all his fault.

And still he couldn't keep his eyes from her. Her hair was swept up into a tasteful up-do and the dress she was wearing revealed the mile long legs that he adored. She looked into his eyes for the briefest of moments before retreating from his gaze once again. He wanted nothing more in his life than to be able to gaze into those eyes forever. To watch the subtle changes in them as she smiled or frowned or made some sarcastic remark. Sometimes, during a time that felt like a lifetime ago, when he had considered those eyes his to look into he would find things there. Great joy and sadness, uncertainty, passion, and love. But today it seemed as though she withered before his stare and her eyes told him nothing. He wondered if he had lost the ability to read this girl like a book. To know her and what she was feeling better than anyone else could. It was probably the scariest thought he'd ever had.

He tore his eyes from her and instead looked upon the girl that he wished with all his heart he could feel the things that he felt for Peyton. The girl he had been fighting so intensely to be with that he wrecked all chance of having those green eyes he loved be his to look into ever again. In this moment all he could find in her eyes was confusion and worry. The same as always.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think ok?


	3. The Hardest Part

**A/N: **Hi all! Busy weekend, but here's chapter 3 now. The parts that sound familiar...are. And I don't own them. That's all. Read up.

Chapter 3: The Hardest Part

The wedding had been beautiful and Nathan and Haley's words to each other were romantic and sweet. It was a fairytale wedding. Absolutely perfect. But as she stood at the alter all Peyton could do was think about Lucas. She wondered if he was staring at her, then why he was staring at her, if it was because he could hear her heart pounding, then again? why the hell he wouldn't stop staring at her!? And then she started to wonder why he wasn't staring at the girlfriend he was supposed to be madly in love with, but that sent her heart and hopes flying to places that she didn't want them to.

At the reception she tried her hardest to keep away from him. To always be on the dance floor while he was sitting at the table reserved for the wedding party or at the table while he was dancing. It was working, but it was also exhausting and she couldn't wait until the day was over.

As it was she was currently sitting trying not to get caught staring at Brooke and Lucas dancing and while also trying to ignore the stabbing in her heart.

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"Didn't you mess me while you were away?" Brooke whispered looking into her boyfriend's eyes desperate to see the love she wanted there.

"Everyday. I was just angry and upset about Keith and I just needed to be alone, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you Brooke because I did." He wondered sometimes when he would run out of things to say to assuage Brooke. He assumed it was because he wanted to be a writer that the right words always came to him. Sometimes he wished he could turn it off so that she would leave him because he was almost sure he'd never find the courage to tell her that he didn't want to be with her. There were too many unknowns and the fact that Peyton was still avoiding him like the bubonic plague gave him no idea that today was the day to try.

"I needed to hear your voice. There's just so much stuff going on with me and now it seems like we're gonna have to get married," she joked.

Lucas' heart stopped and his eyes widened in shock. "Wha-What?" He sputtered . "Are you pregnant?"

"NO, who told you that?" Brooke nearly had a heart attack herself as she looked wildly around the room, intent on finding the bride and killing her.

"You said we had to get married," Lucas pointed out confused.

"While I'm delighted that the only way you would consider marrying me is if I was pregnant, I just meant that apparently getting married in high school is the new thing," Brooke spat.

"Brooke, please stop being so melodramatic. You just scared me with the marriage talk. We can't all be Nathan and Haley. "

"Or Jake and Peyton," Brooke whispered afraid of the reaction that confession would receive.

Brooke sneaked a peek up at her boyfriend to find him staring down at her with a strangled expression on his face evidently speechless. "Lucas?" she whispered softly.

"Peyton and Jake aren't….What? The haven't seen each other since…since last year. What are you talking about? That's not possible. I…She…What? How can-"

"The got engaged yesterday apparently," Brooke cut Lucas off and pierced him with a blazing look. "She seems really happy about it. Everyone's happy for her."

Lucas understood from this that his indignation and obvious horror at the news of his "friend's" engagement was not at all appreciated, but at that moment he couldn't find it in him to care very much.

"Excuse me." He saw the deeply hurt look on her face as he stepped away and stopped. "I'm sorry. I just want to go…congratulate her. I'll be right back."

"Whatever," she let out in a huff and walked away.

Lucas watched her go for second unsure if he should go after her. She'd seemed off since he got back from his trip with his mom and they hadn't gotten very much time to talk what with all the wedding preparations . This thing with Peyton - And as his thoughts strayed to the blond he turned quickly and after spotting her sitting at their table walked over.

Peyton had been busy very studiously avoiding staring at Brooke and Lucas while they danced and so was surprised when Lucas dropped down next to her unannounced and said, "So engaged huh?"

And with that she was forced to turned around and face the man she'd spent all night trying to avoid being around because she feared the response her body would have as soon as she looked into his eyes. The jelly feeling in her knees and the wild thumping of her heart told her she was right to think that being near to him would not be the best idea. Lucas Scott had the ability to turn her to mush just by looking at her.

"Yeah, it pretty great." She was surprised she managed to speak at all.

"It's pretty sudden; I mean I didn't even know you and Jake where together. Weren't you just with Pete from Fall Out Boy? Hoping around pretty fast aren't you?"

Lucas Scott also had the ability to piss her off just by opening his mouth.

"I don't really think my relationships are really any of your business Lucas," she spat with as much venom as she could muster.

"Marriage is a big deal. I'm just trying to make sure your not rushing into anything because you're trying to run."

"And what exactly is it that I'm trying to run from?"

Lucas couldn't quite meet her eyes. He was almost certain that he was being an ass and pissing her off, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't pretend it didn't hurt that she was moving on so quickly and that she was taking such a big step. The words were slipping out before he could help it.

"Me. Your feelings for me. You just told me you loved me and now you're engaged? I just don't want you to end up hurting anyone."

"You aren't serious? What do get off on the idea of me sitting around pinning for you or something?" she hissed trying not to draw attention to the fact that they were arguing.

"Peyton-"

"No. Let's get one thing very clear. I've spent this whole year missing Jake, wishing I could be with Jake, not you. And when I went to Savannah this weekend it felt like coming home. I've felt so lost and incomplete without him for a really long time now. So no this isn't really that sudden because even though I haven't been with Jake my heart has been and will always be. And me telling you I loved you? That was me running from my feelings for Jake, not the other way around." And with that she stormed off and disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor.

Lucas was pretty sure his heart had just been ripped and shoved through a paper shedder. He didn't want to hear that she was in love with Jake, that her feelings for him had been a lie. What hurt him beyond anything else was that he had put her through the same thing before he'd come to the crushing realization that it'd been a huge mistake.

_Flashback_

_Peyton was sitting in the dark in the library that a week before she sat bleeding to death in, while a party raged on outside. Only Brooke Davis would think of something like this and she could really decide whether that was a good or bad thing. She didn't dwell on this for very long though before the thing that had occupied her mind since she woke up in a hospital bed exhausted, but very much alive crept in again and she was hit by a paralyzing fear._

_She still hadn't spoken to Lucas yet and she wondered briefly if they could just never speak again so she would never have to discuss the things that she thought the most crucial to express in what she had thought were the last moments of her life._

"_You know we should really stop meeting up like this," Lucas joked as he sat in a chair across from her._

_Apparently not._

"_I never did thank you," she whispered tears welling in her eyes because it was the only thing she could think to say in that moment._

"_Hey. It's okay," he said as he reached for her hand._

_She had the insane urge to pull it back, but she knew she couldn't. She felt a surge of emotion as his fingers closed over her arm. "God I'm such a girl," she cried covering her eyes._

"_You love me," he drawled with a smirk._

_And there it was. She'd held on to the vain hope that it all been a dream. That maybe she hadn't declared her love for her best friends boyfriend and then kissed him. She sighed and eyed him hard._

_He dropped his smirk as he looked into her eyes. This wasn't a joke. He knew it wasn't, but he'd been hoping to give her an out. A way to keep them all from having to suffer again._

"_Lucas I- I don't know what to say." Her voice cracked and she had tears in her eyes. She was looking at him as if she wanted him to tell her what they were going to do and he honestly had no clue. "I could tell you I didn't mean it, but it seems so foolish after everything I just went through to lie about this. Life is too short and I came so close to losing mine and couldn't deal with you not knowing how I felt. I love you, Lucas. And it scares the hell out of me because I know how complicated this makes everything, but I need you to know. I love you. I'm in love with you." _

_He just stared, a little shocked with the way this conversation was going. He hadn't thought about Peyton that way in long time. There were moments over the summer that they had spent together when he would just look at her and feel his heart swell or she'd do one of the many things that were cute only when she did them and he'd smile and forget why this wasn't the girl he was after. But he attributed all of that to missing Brooke and wanting someone to be with. _

_It was so easy to be with Peyton. They were comfortable without ever being boring, the conversation flowed, they laughed together easily over things that no one else found funny, but he'd taken the easy road before and that had just lead him to difficulties. He was aware that the girls had switched places and that his relationship with Peyton was definitely nothing like his had been with Brooke last year and that his relationship with Peyton last year was nothing like his relationship with Brooke now, but it been the same choice easy or hard and in his messed up logic it made sense to choose hard this time so that maybe he wouldn't make the same mistakes._

"_Peyton, I'm with Brooke. I love Brooke. I'm so completely in love with Brooke Davis and I kind of can't believe that you'd be willing to do all this again after everything you put her through last year."_

_Peyton looked at him as though he'd just punched in the face. But the look of shock turned quickly into one of cold hard fury._

"_After everything__** I **__put her through last year. You make it sound as if I tied you down a forced you to kiss me or tell me you wanted to be with me," she shouted as she stood quickly and kicked her chair from behind her. "I didn't ask for this. Don't you think if I could not feel this way I would choose that? I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to have to hurt every time I see you guys together. I didn't want that then and I don't want it now. I can't believe you would sit here and say that to me."_

_Lucas closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. He really doesn't know why he just said that. He knew how hard their "affair" or whatever it was, had been on Peyton and he doesn't really believe he just said it to her either._

"_Peyton I'm sorry I didn't mean that. It's just that I'm with-"_

"_Brooke. Yeah I heard you," she spat._

"_Well yeah I am. Just like I was then and we messed up and made a huge mistake and somehow I've gotten her to forgive me. We had our chance and it didn't work out and now I'm with Brooke again. That has to mean something."_

_Peyton had that feeling of being punched again. She didn't want to hear that she was his mistake or what sounded vaguely like that he would take all back if he could._

"_You call a few days of us sneaking around and spending time together behind your girlfriend's back our chance? We never had our chance because you could never wait for me. You had Brooke in your bed before I had a chance to work out my feelings and you were screwing Nicki the moment I let you go." She was crying now. Silently tears poured down her cheeks. He thought he could see her heart breaking and wanted more than anything to reach out and hold her. "And I'm the idiot who can't let go of you even after all of it."_

_He couldn't take it anymore. He stood and walked over to her and tried to pull her into a hug, but she shook herself out of his grasp. _

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" he yelled as lost his temper._

"_Uh guys?"_

_They both spun around to see the third member of their twisted little triangle standing before them looked confusedly from face to face._

"_Déjà vu," Peyton whispered to herself, but Lucas heard her. It occurred to him on that first night he'd chosen Brooke and she had turned out to be the wrong choice. He doesn't know what to think right now, but he suddenly he can't stand to be in this room between these two women that are forever making him break one of their hearts. And fully aware that it was never just their fault he storms out of the room without a word._

"_Nothing," Peyton whispers trying to hold back her tears. "Nothing."_

_End of Flashback_

_**A/N: **So I'm not a hundred percent on this flashback. I know Lucas' reasoning makes little sense, but this is the guy who thought Peyton didn't marry him because she didn't believe he could publish his novel when she was the one who submitted it to the publishers in the first place. LOL. So I think it makes sense for Lucas, who despite being a smart guy is slightly retarded when it comes to love. _


	4. We Build Then We Break

Chapter 4: We Build Then We Break

It occurred to Peyton as she walked swiftly into the hospital that though she always left the place sincerely wishing she'd never have to enter it again life (or maybe it was just the Scott family) never failed to find new ways to draw her into it. Was it any wonder she had so many issues when the people around her kept dropping like flies?

She stepped off the elevator and felt a huge surge of relief and calmness at the sight of Lucas and moved quickly to get over to him.

"Hey. How's Nathan? Is he okay?" she let out, slightly breathless from her walk or maybe that was just because of Lucas?

"Yeah I think so he's awake. Rachel and Cooper are still unconscious," he said softly preparing himself incase she hit him for his rudeness in the only conversation they'd managed to have that day. Probably the first in a couple weeks. But she didn't look as if she would hit him as she let out a small sigh of relief and moved in to hug him.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly as she pulled him into her arms and held him tight. He closed his eyes as he held her close to him and took this moment of peace from the madness of their relationship for all it was worth.

"Luke."

The moment was lost and they released each other and turned quickly as Brooke came striding down the hall towards them.

"Is everything okay?" the brunette whispered with tears in her eyes. "What's going on with Nathan?"

"Nathan's fine. He woke up a little while ago," Lucas said watching out the corner of his eye as Peyton slowed stepped away from the two of them.

"Well what about Rachel? Or Cooper? And where's Haley? What happened?"

All he could think as he calmly sat his girlfriend down and started answering her questions was that Peyton had known he didn't need questioning right now. That she'd known all he really need was a hug and someone to ease the feeling that he was in over his head, not add to it. All he could think of was the way her hair smelled or how soft her soft her skin was. All he could think of was finding her and convincing her that if he could he would live in that moment forever.

--------

She had expected things to be a little difficult once she got back to Tree Hill, but not quite this difficult. She had spent a few hours with Brooke waiting for news about Rachel and thankfully the girl had come out of the accident whole and healthy (though from the stories she'd heard she wasn't so sure Rachel was either of those things mentally). It had been a relief when she'd finally been able to leave that hospital and all the craziness behind.

She kicked off her heels once she got to her room and was on her way to the bathroom when she was hit suddenly with how much she loved it. Her red walls and shelves full of albums. The closet she used to escape to when the world got to be too much. The orange bedspread that she'd had for forever. It would probably seem silly to anyone else how huge a loss it seemed when she considered leaving it all behind, but she nearly cried as she stood there taking it all in. She was had a feeling that her room was not the only thing she was crying about leaving behind. She was pondering this when Brooke walked in looking grim.

"Hey, how's Rachel doing?"

"She's a bitch as always," Brooke said with a half a smile as she sat on the bed. "She said she knew she wasn't in heaven because they'd never let me in."

"Hmm that's a good point," Peyton joked. She stopped smiling as she looked at the expression on her best friend's face. It was one that she couldn't quite read, but still worried her. "Brooke what's going on?"

The brunette took a deep breath and sighed before she spoke. "I've just been freaking out the past couple of days because I thought I might be pregnant."

Peyton took in a breath that she didn't let out, eyes wide, mouth open, staring at Brooke completely aghast. "What?" she let out in a huff once she remembered to keep breathing. The idea of Brooke being pregnant was terrifying enough. They were only seventeen! But the idea of Brooke and Lucas pregnant nearly knocked her off her feet with grief.

"I'm not," she said quickly as Peyton had forgotten to breathe again. "I'm not, but it just got me thinking."

"About what?" Peyton sat next to her best friend, her legs still feeling a little wobbly after the recent shock.

"The future," she said vaguely. A look from Peyton told her she need to elaborate. "I realized the other day that I've never really thought about me and Lucas you know settling down and married, having kids. Not seriously at least. Not in the way that Haley has. And you now I guess," she whispered glancing over at Peyton.

"Well that's normal. I mean Haley and I are the crazy ones. You know that right?" Peyton questioned nudging her best friend's shoulder gently.

Brooke ignored her and continued "I guess some small part of me has always felt like I've been living on borrowed time and that Luke and I would never really get a happily ever after. That Luke and I were never really meant for happily ever after. That the two of you were."

"Brooke, come on. You-" Peyton started, but Brooke cut her off by raising her hand.

"I've been constantly looking for signs that you're who he'd rather be with," she continued. "Evidence you know. But we'll get into a fight over you and he'll say such beautiful things and I'm melting again and forgetting and holding him tighter. But even through all that I never really thought I had a chance. I've been thinking of Deb a lot and how Dan married her because of Nathan and how she ended up unhappy and alone eventually and suddenly I might be pregnant and that was the only future I could see for me and Lucas."

She paused and wiped a tear that was falling from her eye and Peyton wondered why and how they're lives had gotten so insanely screwed up. She couldn't think of what to say to Brooke's confession that she'd thought her own relationship doomed from the start. Peyton thought ruefully though that the brunette's timing couldn't possibly be any worse. But that was always the problem with the three of them. And now that she thought about it that was probably the reason for the mess that was their lives.

"And then you came in today and suddenly you're engaged and I don't know what to feel. Because there it is, my future unblocked, mine and I can share it with Lucas and maybe a few days ago I would be thrilled, but now I can't help but think that we're all making a huge mistake here. But I love him and want him and I don't know what to think about anything and I just-"

"Brooke," Peyton said quickly cutting off her friend before she started to hyperventilate. She hadn't really known what she was going to say when she cut her off, but now it seemed like the only thing to do was tell her the truth. It seemed as though Brooke current reasoning might make her more receptive of the news that her best friend was still in love with her boyfriend.

"Brooke, I love-" she started as her lights went out, plunging them into complete darkness. Both girls were used to the random outages in Peyton's old house, so this came as no surprise to either.

"Good sign or bad?" Brooke sighed with a soft laugh, though she hadn't really found anything funny.

"Bad, definitely bad," Peyton muttered.

"Well thanks."

Peyton let out a breath and looked at her hands as she said harshly "Brooke, Lucas loves you. Trust me. And I know you love him. So stop doubting it and stop freaking out about the future. You've got him, so enjoy it, and stop overanalyzing everything. It won't do any of us any good okay?"

The lights returned abruptly and after blinking a few times to get used to the sudden brightness Peyton looked over at her clock as an excuse not to have to look at Brooke.

"Do you know what time it is?" Peyton said simply to break the tense silence.

"Yeah, it's midnight," Brooke half whispered still in shock from Peyton's slight outburst.

"You know what that means right?"

Brooke shook her head quietly before realizing Peyton still wasn't looking at her. "No. What?"

Peyton turned and faced her friend with a small smile on her face. "It's officially your birthday."

Brooke gave a small smile of her own and thought if the first minute of her birthday was any indication, this was probably going to be the most terrible birthday of her eighteen years.

--------

"So guys I love you and all, but I really don't need to be thrown in jail again right now."

Peyton and Haley were sitting inside a small dressing room in Tree Hill's only department store while Brooke tried on a dress Peyton would be stealing for her. It had been a tradition between the two since they were kids and they always had a blast. Brooke had invited Haley along because she thought she could use some fun after the day she'd had and the news they'd gotten last night. Peyton was grateful because she couldn't think of anything she wanted to do less than spend time alone with Brooke after their conversation the night before, though she felt kind of horrible for being glad that one of her closest friends was pregnant and had a husband who had just almost died in a car accident.

"Well Haley you won't be the one thrown in jail. That would be me seeing as I'm doing the actual "stealing". She mouthed a quick I'll tell you later as Haley started to question her finger quotes and Brooke spun around and watched as her dress twirled around her.

"So what do you think Cinderella?" Peyton said with a smirk as she watched her.

"It is so perfect. I mean it would have been better if I had made it, but I love it anyway."

Peyton and Haley rolled their eyes and laughed at Brooke's dramatically offended face when they caught her eye in the mirror. Peyton almost felt like a teenaged girl for a few seconds as she laughed with her friends, but then Brooke said something about meeting up with Lucas and then her phone rang and it was her finance and suddenly she had the weight of the world on her shoulders again.

"I'm going to take this okay? Put the dress in my bag and meet me by the perfumes," Peyton said quickly as she stepped out of the dressing room. "Hey you," she said answering her phone.

"Oh my god she exist!" She knew Jake was joking, but after the all the stress she'd been through since she'd gotten back to Tree Hill it felt like an accusation.

"I'm sorry, okay? Things have been hectic," she snapped angrily.

"Whoa. Peyton calm down. I just-"

"Don't tell me to calm down. I'm calm. I don't need you patronizing me."

"Peyton, I'm not patronizing you. Why are you determined to turn this into an argument? It just would have been nice to hear from my finance some time since I put her on a plane 24 hours ago," he snapped and Peyton suddenly felt like the worst girlfriend…finance in the world.

"I'm sorry Jake. It's just this town. I've been home one day and already I feel like bashing my head into a wall."

"What's going on?" Jake said concerned.

"Everything. Nathan got into a car accident, Haley's pregnant, thing's are on the fritz with me and Brooke, Luke and I-" Peyton stopped abruptly as Brooke and Haley appeared at her side.

"You and Lucas what?"

Peyton could hear the nervousness in his tone and was glad to be avoiding having to continue the conversation. "Jake honey I have to go, I'll call you back later," she said hurriedly and shut her phone.

Haley raised an eyebrow and Peyton cursed her perceptiveness. She did not want to get into a conversation about the state of her relationships or what the hell was going on in her head. So turning from Haley, she threw on a large smile and faced her best friend. "So where to birthday girl?"

--------

They end up at Karen's Café where Brooke put on her newly stolen dress and Haley and Peyton invited all of her "closest" friends which turned out to be pretty much everyone in their class. Karen had gone home after making Lucas promise that her café would still be there in the morning, so the alcohol was running and the music was blaring and Peyton had a massive headache. She debated for a few seconds whether it would be rude to leave the party before deciding she didn't care seeing as she hadn't seen Brooke in a couple hours anyway. As she started to make her way towards the exit however, Brooke came down the stairs leading to roof with Lucas in tow and after spotting her about to step out the door made a B-line over.

"Where are you going? The party just got started," the brunette said with a pout.

"Brooke it's three in the morning, I've got to catch a flight at ten, and I haven't even started packing. I really have to go. I'm sorry."

"Where are you going?" Lucas asked confused.

It took Peyton a second to realize he wasn't really asking the same question. He wanted to know where she would be flying too.

"I've got to get back to Savannah," she said, choosing not to look at him, but talking to her best friend instead.

Brooke took her by the arm and pulled her outside. "It is way too loud in there, I almost thought I heard you say you were going back to Savannah."

"That's exactly what I said Brooke."

"But we've got school tomorrow and cheer practice and that English exam. You can't leave."

"I'm dropping out Brooke. I'm getting my GED and moving to live with Jake. We're engaged you didn't think I was staying in Tree Hill without him?"

"You can't drop out of high school. Why the hell would he allow you do something like that?"

Peyton turned to Lucas who had joined them outside and eyed him furiously. "I'd appreciate it if you'd not tell me what I can and cannot do. And Jake isn't_ allowing _me to do anything because I am capable of making my own decisions."

"But you can't leave Peyton. It's the end of our senior year. What about graduation? What about PROM?" Brooke said eyes going wide ignoring Peyton's attack on her boyfriend.

Peyton started to cry. Brooke Davis was the girl who'd beat up anyone on the playground for making fun of Peyton's hair when they were 9. Brooke Davis was the girl who got suspended from school for sneaking out to buy Peyton tampons when she'd first gotten her period in the 6th grade. She was the girl who spent hours with her picking out new music with her even though she frequently said she'd rather eat glass. She was the girl who would always think prom was more important than graduation. Peyton loved her for all of it and despite what was going on with them right now and the barely concealed hurt in the past she was her best friend. She was practically her sister and more than anything the thought of leaving her now, right before all the things they'd fantasized about since they were little girls, was tearing her to pieces.

"Peyton-,"

"Look, Brooke I'm sorry. I really am, but I've got to go start my new life now you know?" she said quietly tears pouring down her cheeks.

Brooke pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm just going to miss the hell out of you ," she said trying her hardest to keep her own tears at bay.

"I'm going to miss you too. So much."

Lucas stood back watching the two girls he so often tore apart at a lost as to what to say or do. He really wished that he could start crying now himself. Peyton shouldn't leave. She couldn't leave, but he couldn't ask her to stay. Not when he had a girlfriend. Not when that would fracture the friendship of the two girls who so obviously loved each other. But still, he needed her to stay.

"You should stay," he said suddenly. "Not for good of course," he added because she looked ready to tear him a new one. "I just mean...leaving tomorrow would mean you wouldn't get to say goodbye to anyone and no one would know why you were leaving. You can't just disappear."

"He's right. So right. You know what we should do? We should throw you an engagement party," Brooke squealed.

"Brooke I think I'm all partied out."

"No, no, no," Brooke said quickly with a little stomp. "You are not allowed to say no to this. You are abandoning me. And who the hell knows how long you'll be gone. As your maid of honor I demand you let me throw you an engagement party."

Peyton smiled at her best friends tantrum. She really was going to miss this. "Who said you were my maid of honor?" Brooke gave her a warning look that clearly said she was not to be messed with. "Okay, okay I'll call Jake and see if he can make it up here for a day, but it has to be soon. I mean like tomorrow soon okay?"

"Yes. Yay. Oh my god okay I need to start planning this lets go home. Luke could you please wrap this up?" she said pointing towards the café.

"Sure, I'll see you guys later," he said with a smile towards Peyton who gave him a small smile back.

And with that the two girls took off down the sidewalk, Brooke talking adamantly about party plans and Peyton rolling her eyes and laughing, feeling like a teenaged girl again, if only for a little while.

**A/N:** I'm kind of not too sure about this chapter. I anagnized over that first Brooke and Peyton conversation, but I still don't know if I like it. I can't hold on to this anymore though so. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know.


	5. Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting

Chapter 5: Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)

She doesn't know how Brooke managed it, but somehow Peyton finds herself still in Tree Hill a week later. If she's being honest, she hasn't really been all that anxious to leave. In the wake of her announcement of her impending departure she and Brooke have been too busy reminiscing to obsess about all their current issues. She'd been successful at avoiding Lucas even though for some insane reason Brooke made her spend this last week in school. She had spent more time just hanging out with all her friends than she can remember doing in way too long.

If anything this week was just making it harder to picture the day when she would have to leave this town and all the people she loved behind. But of course time has a way of flying past when you most want it to slow down. Suddenly she found herself at the airport waiting for her finance so they could go to the party that would mark the end her time in Tree Hill. He'd managed to figure out a way to make it to Tree Hill for the night and they were going to drive back to Savannah early the next morning so his visit wouldn't cause any complications in his pursuit to get Jenny back.

She was contemplating how it was possible that a week ago she was desperate not to come back to this place and now it almost hurt to consider leaving it when a strong pair of arms pulled her in tight.

"Hey watch it!" she yelled, trying to kick her captor in the groin.

"Whoa, whoa it's me Peyton," Jake laughed, moving quickly away as she spun around.

Her face felt like it would split in two as she threw her arms around him and he spun her through the air. She couldn't believe how happy she was to see him again. He ground her, kept her sane, made her life easier. She loved him and she could really truly be happy with just him forever. If Lucas Scott didn't exist.

"Longest week of my life," Jake whispered in her ear as he set her down. "Promise never to go anywhere that long ever again okay?"

Peyton smiled complacently and grabbed his hand to lead him out of the airport. "We're going to be late. Let's get out of here."

--------

"SURPRISE!"

Jake and Peyton entered Tric to an earsplitting racket. Brooke had gone all out and it seemed as though everyone in Tree Hill had been invited to the engagement party. Goodbye party. Whatever the hell it was. As everyone seemed intent on congratulating them, it took Peyton nearly an hour to escape the mass of people pressing themselves upon them and so she could really get a look around the club and find her best friend.

"Brooke you are aware that I helped you plan most of this right?" Peyton yelled over the music once she'd finally caught up with Brooke. "So there was no need to deafen me as soon as I walked in."

"Oh whatever . You loved it."

Peyton rolled her eyes as Brooke laughed and Jake joined. She scanned the party again quickly as Brooke drew Jake into a discussion of the wedding. Trust Brooke to start peppering him with questions before the couple had even had a chance to talk about it themselves.

She found him sitting at the bar looking right at her and looked away as soon as she did wondering how long he'd been staring. She had a feeling it had been since she walked through the doors. She felt a shiver run straight through her at the thought.

"You alright babe?" Jake ask as he shrugged off his blazer to throw it over her shoulders.

"I'm fine, thanks. Let's dance," she said quickly as she pulled the blazer close even though she wasn't cold at all and led her fiancé to the dance floor.

--------

"You'll probably burn holes straight through them if you keep staring at them like that."

Lucas jumped and turned to find his brother sitting on the stool next to him eyeing him with a look that was a confusing blend of sympathy, amusement, and anger.

He knew he'd been caught, but he really didn't want to get into this conversation with Nathan. Not know, probably not ever so he decided to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, alright. Trust me I know that look. You looked that way the entire time Peyton and I were dating. You want her. Bad. And you want to want to rip him a new one just for touching her."

"Peyton's happy and Jake's a good guy. I've got nothing against him," Lucas said completely aware that it wasn't really a denial to everything his brother had just said.

"Except that he's got your girl," Nathan said with a knowing glance.

"Brooke's my girl, Nathan. And don't you have more important things you should be worrying about? Like your pregnant wife for instance," Lucas snapped angrily hoping this conversation was over.

Nathan chose to ignore him and his hopes. "Wake the hell up Lucas, before it's too late. I can't force you to grow up and stop being such a little bitch about this, but I swear if you let her marry him I _will_ force my foot up your ass." And with that Nathan stalked away leaving Lucas fuming.

It wasn't as though he didn't want to tell Peyton how he felt. Of course he did. And in an ideal world she'd fall into his arms and tell him she loved him and they'd live happily ever after, but their history proved that those fantasies had never lived up to the realities. It was their own unique blend of abandonment, commitment, and rejection issues that always stopped them from being anything before they really had a chance to try and he was too afraid of all those issues to put his heart on the line again. He supposed that did make him a little bitch as Nathan so eloquently put it.

He sat stewing over all this for a while when he spotted Jake coming towards the bar and had a fleeting urge to run for it, but stayed put as Jake ordered not noticing Lucas sitting across the bar from him. Lucas contemplated not saying anything. He was feeling angry and hostile and those were not the best emotions to be feeling when starting a conversation with the love of your life's fiancé, but a reckless feeling had taken over him, probably the result of Nathan's ribbing so he caught Jake's eye and waved him over.

"Hey man I haven't seen you all night," Jake said with a smile that faltered at the coldness Lucas hadn't been successful at removing from his gaze. Not that he'd tried all that hard to begin with.

"Yeah well I've been around," Lucas muttered bitterly. "I guess congratulations are in order," he stated trying to contain the anger he knew Jake didn't really deserve.

"Thanks." Jake was suddenly extremely uncomfortable and almost sighed in relief when the bartender handed him his drinks. "Well I'll see you around then," he said quickly and started to walk away before he was called back by the sound of Lucas voice.

"You've got to wonder at the timing though."

Jake turned and eyed Lucas warily. "What are you talking about?"

Lucas was taking a vicious pleasure from the uncertainty that lined Jake's face. "I just mean after everything that happened between us in the library. It just seems like this was rushed."

It was obvious to Jake that Lucas was trying to get a rise out of him. And he had to admit that he was. The things Lucas were saying were things that he himself had been thinking and he tried to hold on to the fact that he was the one Peyton was ready to marry. "Well sometimes people make mistakes with their hearts. But when you know it's right you don't hesitate. I mean look at Nathan and Haley."

Lucas wondered for a moment why he hadn't asked about what had happened in the library. He banked on that being a shock to Jake. He realized that Peyton must have discussed it with him and suddenly had no clue why he thought Jake was so wrong for her. This really only made him angrier.

"The two of you never had that, because neither of you were ever sure. Not like Peyton and I are now. So what happened between the two of you is unimportant to my relationship no matter how much you wish it was." Jake's tone makes his contempt for Lucas completely clear and for a moment he has to wonder when exactly they'd stopped being friends. He supposed it was the moment they'd this very conversation.

"Sometimes the mistake people make is settling for the sure thing when there's something better just waiting for them to reach out and grab it." Lucas isn't altogether sure whether he's talking about himself or Peyton. It's very possible he's talking about the both of them. What he knows for sure is that what he's said is truer than any word he's ever spoken.

"Do me a favor and stay the hell away from my fiancé, okay?"

It's that word that sends him reeling over the edge. Fiancé. He's pretty sure he's never heard a dirtier word in his life.

"Sure. Problem is it's usually her who can't stay away from me," he spits and before he knows it all he can see are stars.

"JAKE!"

He hears Peyton's yell as he recovers and throws himself at the man or boy he can't really tell the difference and they all never really got the chance to be kids anyway. He's got Jake under him and he's pounding into him with a savagery he never really expected from himself. It's got a little to do with all the stolen alcohol running through his system and a lot to do with the heart break he's been suffering through for the past week. He feels himself being shoved violently aside and knocks his head against the metal bar stool. He's disoriented and all he can hear is the whispers and the gasp and the ragged breathing of the guy he just beat the hell out of. And above it all a soft whimper that tears his heart even further because he knows that sound better than any other and he can't believe he's let himself hurt her more.

--------

"What the hell was that Lucas?"

Lucas found himself standing in Tric's parking lot heading for a fight with his girlfriend unsure as to how he'd even gotten there. He felt that way about a lot of things lately. He wanted to go find Peyton. He wanted to apologize for everything he'd ever done to hurt her. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. He wanted all of it all to be enough. For once, in way longer than he could remember, the last thing he wanted to do was to be smoothing out another fight with Brooke.

"I love her."

He hadn't really meant to say it. No, that wasn't true. Maybe he hadn't meant to say it quite so bluntly. But the mincing of words had never really seemed to ever get any of them were they want to be. He opened his eyes expecting to see hurt or anger or betrayal, but Brooke just looked tired and slightly relieved. Like maybe the last thing she had wanted was more of his empty words.

She sighed softly. There it was. The end of her relationship and somehow the foundation of it in three simple words. "I know."

And that was it. Maybe the two of them had never really need the words either. Because the words would save them, but they never really had enough worth saving anyway.

--------

Peyton was fuming. She had no idea who she was more angry with, the boy sitting in front of her with his cut lip and black and bloody nose, the boy somewhere in this club that was probably nursing a bruised hand who for all the ways she understood him she couldn't figure out, or herself for pulling them all into this mess. She chose to vent her frustrations on the only one who happened to be with her. She'd lost herself long ago.

"Why did you have to hit him? What in the hell were you trying to prove?" she shouted angrily as she shoved an ice pack into his had.

"I get the crapped beat out of me and _you're_ yelling at _me_?" Jake was beyond pissed. He wasn't sure if he was more upset about getting his ass handed to him or the fact that his girlfriend simply didn't seem to care. Or the fact that he wasn't and still isn't sure that any of things that he was said to Lucas were true.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I didn't tell you to start a fight with him," Peyton snapped as she stopped dabbing the cut on his lip and stood, staring him down.

Jake felt all the fight drain out of him as he stared into her stubborn eyes. "He's in love with you," he said quietly.

Peyton felt her heart leap, but she beat it down harshly. She was getting better at that. "That's not true. And even if it was have you heard a single thing I've been telling you since we've been back together? I love _you_. I want to marry _you_." She was also getting better at lying. To him. To herself. She almost believed in what she'd just said. "I'm so tired of all this." It was the one truth she'd told him all night.

He watched her for a moment. Whatever peace they had, it was only there when they weren't in this place. He knew that that couldn't mean much for his relationship. And that their problems would still be here no matter where they ran or how long they stayed away. Even he could admit that that meant a whole lot for Lucas and Peyton's relationship. But he came to the same decision he always came too. He loved her and he needed her and he would hold on her as long as she let him.

"Then let's go."

--------

He saw them come out of the club together and slip into the car that had always been so quintessentially her. He'd spent all of last summer driving her around in it. Listening to music and laughing while she lounged about with her feet on the dashboard. Easy. But the good kind. He wondered why it had taken him so long to realize it was all that he wanted.

She caught his eye as she drove away from him. He thought for a second he saw the same sadness and longing and pain there, but then she was gone and all he could feel was his own.

**A/N:** Sorry it takes me so long to update. I meant to put these out quicker, but I'm so busy gettint ready to head back to school that it takes forever. Anyway I realizd that this story is going to be kind of short. There's only like 3 chapters left.


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